Time.

The reason why I haven’t been updating, well, it’s because I’ve been thinking.. Or not thinking, I guess.

But today I realized that if somebody ten years back would’ve told me that I would at some point in my life actually feel this great about myself, my life, my friends.. I wouldn’t had believed them. Well, the reason for that might be based on what I thought the world looked like then and what kind of people was out there, and nevertheless the fact that I, in my own mind, wasn’t worthy of it.

But lets skip that crap and go on to some more positive thinking. The reason why I’m posting this is because I need it stated somewhere that I feel this way, so that when the world have fucked me over once more, I can spit back in it’s face. Or maby it’s because I can’t tell my friends? Only since they’ve heard it already a million times.

Thinking back at the year that have passed I feel really satisfied. I’ve met people that I want to stay by my side forever, I’ve laughed ‘til I’ve cried and danced ‘til my legs couldn’t take it anymore, I’ve let my guard down and let people close. Okay, it’s not only during this year that I’ve met people that I want to have my side, there’s others that are close to me as well. Sadly, I’ve also met people that I would want to have closer as well, or at least gotten to know them somewhat better , but hey, you can’t get everything.

Another reason why I’m putting this things down is because I realized during this weekend how horribly much I want people I care about to succeed. At this point a couple of my friends have gotten/are expecting children, some moving together, some finding that ”special” one. And I’m truly happy for them.

But where does that leave me? Should I also feel that need of finding someone special, or a crazy urge to start a family? Well, let’s put it like this: Sure, I want someone in my life. It’s not a desperate need, but sure it would be nice to know that you can cuddle up with someone. But at this point I guess that my expectations are way too high and the person would really have to be someone fucking amazing. Or just someone I can be myself with. But at that front, let’s see what the future brings. Right now I’ll enjoy life the way it get’s thrown at me, it’s a lot more fun that way.

So, until next time I’ve gotten something important to scribble down (can you even use ”scribble” when typing on a computer? Oh well.), OverAndOut.

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